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But in the context of the bedroom, words that would otherwise feel infantilizing or degrading can feel gender-affirming or deliciously forbidden. Likewise, it’d be pretty weird to call anyone your master, mistress, or goddess outside the bedroom. But in the bedroom, it can imbue you or your partner with a sense of power and confidence that’s just plain hot. Now, we’re not saying you need to dive headfirst into BDSM. And honestly, these labels can feel reductive and cheesy sometimes.

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“Part of the thrill is using sort of edgy, boundary-pushing epithets that we can reclaim through sex.” When it comes to advanced dirty talk, Horn suggests that you, “really see yourself as a storyteller, a creative person exercising a skill.” If your partner is using words or phrases that don’t work for you, be gentle in how you let them know. Pay attention to the words and phrases your partner is using and adopt them if you’re comfortable. You can share each other’s word banks or just incorporate what’s affirming versus what’s off-limits into natural conversation. “One of the most important basics is understanding what words you like to describe all the parts of your body, as well as your partner’s,” says Horn.

• Amanda does the behind-the-scenes work that keeps Juicy Secrets alive and vital, in addition to turning out excellent stories of her own.
• “Adults can, and I think should be able to, talk about sexuality together, with no assumption that it’s to turn each other on,” says Horn.
• Actually a great place for all beginners to start (especially if you’re shy) is to simply get more comfortable with platonic sexual communication, Horn says.
• It could even help bridge that libido gap, Horn says.
• It’s also an ideal step for those developing virtual relationships during the pandemic.

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Ease into dirty talk with small, sensual compliments. Tell your partner how much you love certain things they do. This will help you get comfortable without diving too deep or too fast.

I’d already been sexually active, and while I felt confident in my skills with men, I wasn’t exactly sure if I could pleasure a woman. I allowed my instinct to guide me and basically focused on doing to her what I would have wanted done to me. I was also sure to pay attention to her responses and tailor my touches (and licks) to her liking. I’d been attracted to women for as long as I’d been attracted to men, so to finally experience sex with one was an awakening for me; it was amazing. “You can explore sides of your sexual self you’d otherwise never feel comfortable tapping into if it wasn’t just through language.”

“At first for most people who talk dirty, it ends up being very basic stuff like you know, ‘That feels good, keep going, don’t stop,'” says Marin. Even the basics are more than enough to get you and your partner revved up. Don’t be afraid to take it slow when it comes to dirty talk that’s in real-time. There’s a variety of transitions into it that help ease you both in. But once you’ve done some of the above exercises on your own, it’s time to do it with a partner. Keep in mind, though, that your partner may very well want to do that solo work and develop their own word bank.

• There’s a variety of transitions into it that help ease you both in.
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• If America truly cares about lesbian sex (which it definitely does, as most porn sites, queer women, and even straight women will tell you) it should do a better job of representing it on screen.
• Kechiche reportedly bullied the two female protagonists as well as his staff, forcing them to work 16-hour workdays under extreme pressure.
• “When something this catastrophic happens, it’s really disorienting how drastically your libido can change, and how you and your partner can suddenly be mismatched when it comes to sex drive,” says Horn.

Dirty talk can help partners get on the same page by opening each other up to all kinds of discussions around desire. So kudos to Disobedience for really taking the time to mediate on how queer women have sex. The scene clocks in at about eight minutes and never once gets banal — it even throws in a complimentary spit swap.

This isn’t always the case, and women I spoke with all agree that what we see in typical “girl-on-girl” scenes aren’t true representations of how sex goes down. This story is a work of fiction and contains sex scenes and is suitable for adults only. All characters are fictional and are over 18 years old.

She says that when it’s done while kissing, “being completely connected and wrapped up in her” sends her over the edge. Arykah enjoys focusing on using her fingers to bring her partner to orgasm while performing oral sex, and she loves the way a woman’s body tightens and releases when she makes her orgasm with this technique. I remember my first sexual encounter with a woman like it was yesterday. I was in college and, cliché as it sounds, it just kinda happened.

“Little comments or texts throughout the day can really build up the excitement leading to the physical touch.” The important thing is to not judge or shame yourself or your partner for whatever that sexy persona or fantasy looks like, whether it’s being dressed in Princess Leia’s gold bikini, a tuxedo, nothing but stilettos, or a dog collar. Though, of course, always be conscientious about establishing enthusiastic consent and doing boundary check-ins throughout any roleplaying dirty talk. Always remember that it’s both party’s right to respectfully say no at any time.